User Profile

thanks to lagirl_layouts for my b. layout

The names Jessica, Jessica Danielle Emdee. I dont even know how to spell my own middle name. It's true. I was born January 21st 1989 in a small town called Washougal. My family called me a hellian back then. But i was merely just a kid growing up. By the age of 6 I was already becoming the talk of the town. Well. Lets just say (the boys) I began to go through a process of fake weddings with my bf's. It was strange and all to me. But I didnt much really care at all. I kissed a boy by age 7. And everything on from there started to erupt.

I was changing. Not just physically. But everything about me was changing. I started to rebel more twards my family and friends. I didnt care what anyone thought. All i wanted was independance. Age 9 I gave them all the middle finger. Which brought me to my first fight... and a night spent in Juvie. I wasnt fazed at all really. Juvie wasnt bad at all. there food was better than my own mothers. after living off macaroni and hot dogs my whole childhood. I can say the only worst part about it, was having to take showers together with other girls. I was a lil self concious with my body. Cmon. I was 9 years old. who wouldnt?

Years pass I was still that same 9 year old girl at heart. Only i was getting into more fights then usual. It kinda sucked n all. See. i was the person everyone talked about in school. Not popular as though some of you may seem to think. More on the lines of a freak/outcast everyone hated, depsized, loathed an such. Mostly girls. They always seem to not like me as much as the boys. I never really got them ya know? Always such clean cut squares. Almost made me feel like i was in pleasent vill... from hell.

At 12 years old. I picked up my moms acoustic guitar, & started to play. I wouldnt let her or anyone else show me how. I was determined to figure it all out on my own. I started find out how to play songs before i even knew how to read tabs or chords. And still to this day. I dont know how to read chords. A year had passed I decided to spend my childhood savings on a new guitar. An electric. Then BOOM. everything started coming at me quicker than the speed of light or sound.

I met ariel in the 7th grade science class. We started to become good friends after we relized we had the same taste in music. it became everyday that we would talk about our favorite bands or a song. have you heard this? do you listen to them? etc. etc. I would say... what got me to talk to her, was her constant drumming her hands on the table. soon she found herself some drums sticks. and began using that instead. I swear i remember the teacher threatening to take them away a few.... hundred times. Thats when i told her to get a drum set. She told me she's been wanting to play but her mother wouldnt buy her one. and if so. an electric drum set. ew. We talked about dreams of being in a band. So it came to our intention, that we should possibly attempt. Can never dream to big right?

We then cought on to chris, a really good mad guitarist. We all gatherd in my garage with pots and pans and our acoustic guitars. Thats when we started to play music. Although as ghetto as it was, we felt that progress would get us somewhere.

years pass as we play. chris slowely fades away from the band. And for me? the typical 14-15 kid depression cycle starts to kick in. I began listening to sad depressing music cutting myself and crying myself to sleep late at nights. which i really hate to admit. sad but true. That was Until i bumped into a lil friend called drugs. it helped me escape my pathetic reality. Everyday it only got worse and worse. I just couldnt get enough. I began running away. getting arrested with over 10 missdaminor charges. Soon i came onto probation. i was missing allot of the band. i started falling out. I dragged myself into harder drugs. And it still wasnt cutting it for me. So i did the worst thing possible. Anything for drugs in my veins. after a 23 day stay in rehab convincing them i was fully recovered i hit the streets again. only to have a warrant out for my arrest.... running from the cops every second of the day. April 7th 2005,
changed my whole life. I was arrested with 2 felony charges. and sent straight up to a juvinile correction facility for 7-10 months. I've realized how much i have missed and how stupid and ignorant of me it was to do the things i have done. i had destroyed the band my relationships with everyone. This time... I hit my rock bottom. I did everything to recover from anything that would make me want to resort back to that kind of life.

Nov. 2nd 2005,
I was released on good behavior. and decided that i needed to lead a good lifestyle. people already thought i was dead in a gutter somewhere who knows? but i didnt realize... who really cared. Not more than a month later our band got back together. and started to play again with our new found members who stand here with us today.

March 31st 2006,
I met this guy named Jay at a subhumans concert like a week earlier. soon i began to fall for this dork. Which now im glad i met. Because he's my best friend... my boyfriend. and everything else that means anything to me. He makes me feel good to be me. With him i dont have to hide anything. i dont know what kind of relationship this will turn out to be in the future. this is as good as it can possibly get. but what i really know... is that i like him allot. Like the words that cant explain, or get stuck in the back of your throat and you just really dont know what to say or cant seem to get them out the right way. Almost as if to good to be true? am i falling inlove? With him... not everyday is better than the last. Its more like the Days spent with him are the best anyone ever could ask for. He means allot to me. He makes me happy.

I may be missing out allot of my life story here. But im sure you all dont want to here more corny sappy pathetic shit now do yuh?

<3 Jessica

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